If
only they had followed Abraham Lincoln’s example about what to do when in a fit
of anger, we are tempted to put our thoughts on paper, or even worse, post them
online.
I’m
referring to the pastor and the waitress, the pastor being the Reverend Alois
Bell, the woman who wrote on her Applebee’s receipt, “I give God 10%---why do
you get 18%?” The server, Chelsea Welch, who wasn't actually the one who waited
on Bell, photographed Bell’s comment (including her signature) and then posted
Bell’s note on Reddit.com with the headline, “My
mistake sir, I’m sure Jesus will pay for my rent and groceries,” subsequently giving Applebee’s cause to fire Welch.
Pastor
Bell didn't like the fact that she was being charged an automatic 18% gratuity
for a large party. When her snarky comment raised a bumper crop of criticism, Bell
apologized, admitting her words were a lapse of judgment. “I’m human,” she
said, “I did that.”
Applebee’s defends its action in
firing Welch because, according to the restaurant chain, she violated the
company’s social media policy, which includes protecting personal information
about their “guests.”
Not everybody appreciates the
mandatory gratuity for large parties. After all, when it comes to a restaurant
tip, how is it a gratuity if it’s included in the bill? (But why did Bell have
to invoke God to justify her aggravation? A tip is a gratuity based on
performance; a tithe is an Old Testament command referring to the obligatory giving
of 1/10 of all possessions under Hebraic law.)
It’s easier to sympathize with the
waitress. We all have our limits on putting up with snide, unkind remarks from ungrateful
people.
During college summers, I used to sell
cemetery property door to door in Houston, Texas. (We called ourselves
“pre-needs counselors.”) I learned what it was like to be a verbally abused
salesperson and would occasionally massage my trampled ego by asking rude people,
“You aren't from Texas, are you?” If they answered, “No,” I would respond, “I
figured that because most people from Texas are kind and considerate.” If they said, “Yes,” I would raise my
eyebrows in apparent shock and say, “That’s quite astonishing because most
people from Texas aren't like you; they’re kind and considerate.”
It felt good to say it, and maybe that’s why I
got chased off a few front doors, once by Broom Hilda herself. (I mean it; she
really did wield a broom in my direction. And no, she wasn't from Texas)
As for Applebee’s, their action in
firing Welch is justified. (I still wish they would rehire her.) After all, we
like to think that the items we’ve ordered to eat and drink, the amount of our
bill, as well as the percentage of our tip, won’t be posted online for the
world to see.
So how could Lincoln have helped the
pastor and the waitress? According to
Lincoln biographer, Doris Kearns Goodwin, author of Team of Rivals, Lincoln had a habit of writing “hot letters.” In an
interview on NPR’s Fresh Air, she said, “When he was
upset with somebody he would write what he called a hot letter where he would
write it all down and then he would put it aside until his emotions cooled
down, and then write: Never sent. Never signed."
Having expressed
his angry feelings, Lincoln felt better, and he didn't have to regret the angry
words he never sent.
Think
of the embarrassment Pastor Bell could have saved herself if she had written a
“hot letter” to the manager, let it cool down, then rephrased her cutting
remarks, or simply placed the letter in the unsent file. Or she could have
written her remark on her own customer copy’s receipt and put it in her pocket rather
than writing hurtful words on the restaurant’s receipt. And if Chelsea had
covered Bell’s signature in the photo, and then only shared it with some
trusted confidants, she would still have her job today.
Now, as
for me, I’m glad we didn't have smartphones or the internet back when I sold
cemetery property. Unaware of Abe’s method of handling anger, I might have
recorded the front door vituperation of some boorish customer, maybe even
recorded Broom Hilda chasing me, posted it online, and gotten myself fired. Think
of it: I would have missed out on the 20% sales commission I made on all those
cemetery lots I sold.
And
then, without a job, I wouldn't have had 10% to give back to God.
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