The power of words

Paula Deen was in the E!News studio recently, making media rounds to promote the launch of her new subscription based online channel, the Paula Deen Network. It’s been over a year since her multi-million dollar culinary empire came tumbling down after her admission that she used a racial slur 30 years ago.

"They (words) can be very powerful, and they can hurt, no matter how old they are," Deen told E!News.

When Today Show’s Matt Lauer asked her several weeks ago what she had learned from the experience, Deen immediately responded:   “Words are so powerful. They can hurt. They can make people happy. Well, my words hurt people.”

She is right, of course.

The trouble is remembering the lesson she learned.

When it comes to using the wrong words, I’m a repeat offender.

And I make my living from the use of words.

I don’t have room in this column to write about all the times I've said the wrong thing. Saying “I’m sorry, I didn't mean it,” can help but doesn't retrieve words misspoken. Once they’re out, the damage is done.

Someone once said, “Samson killed a thousand men with the jaw bone of an ass. That many sales are killed every day with the same weapon.”

It’s not just sales that are lost because of wrong words. Relationships and reputations can be destroyed by what we say.

We don’t think about what we’re saying until it’s too late. Therein lies the problem.

Cell phones and social media provide us all the more opportunities for miscues in language.

The other day I received a text message from a number I didn't recognize, informing me that one of my parishioners was in the hospital. I happened to be the city where the hospital was located, so I decided to drive downtown to pray for this person. When I arrived at the hospital, patient information did not have the person’s name. I needed the information quickly, so I called whoever it was that had texted me, hoping someone wasn't playing a mean prank on me.

But I accidentally called the wrong number.

A man answered, and I asked if he had sent me a text message.

“What?” he said with a hint of irritation in his voice.

Determined to find out who it was that texted me, I asked, “Has your wife or girlfriend been texting me?”

This was not a wise thing to ask the man.

He proceeded to inform me in no uncertain terms that his wife does not randomly text message men. He hung up before I could say, “I’m sorry, I just wasn't thinking.”

What we say and what people hear are not always the same, even though our intentions may be pure.

A lady once tried to compliment her minister, “Each sermon you preach is not quite as bad as the last one,” she innocently told him.

I saw a YouTube video of a blind person sitting on the sidewalk with a tin cup. Next to him was a sign that read, “I am blind, please help.”

A few people stopped to put some money in the cup.

Then a young lady passed him, read the sign, and like most of the others walked on. But then she came back, picked up his sign, turned it to the back side and wrote something. Suddenly, everyone who passed the blind man stopped and dropped coins in the cup.

What did she write that made such a difference?

“It is a beautiful day, and I can’t see it.”

Same message, just different words.

The more I realize the power in words, the more I think before speaking. And the more I think, the less I speak.

And the fewer times I have to say, “I’m sorry, I didn't mean it.”