Valentine’s Day precedes Ash Wednesday and the
beginning of Lent by only four days this year. What a contrast in these two
days.
Valentine’s Day is a day when many couples celebrate
their love with cards, flowers and gifts---gifts often in some form of
chocolate. (If you eat equal amounts of white chocolate and dark chocolate, is
that a balanced diet?)
Ash Wednesday is a day when religious people tend to
give up something---often some form of chocolate. And instead of celebrating, they engage in
acts of penitence---maybe for partying (laissez
les bon temps rouler) too heartily on Shrove Tuesday, the day preceding Ash
Wednesday.
Perhaps this Valentine’s Day, we should prepare for
Lent by making February 14th a day of sacrifice and likewise
allowing our Lenten devotions to be accentuated by Valentine Day’s spirit of
celebration.
Think about it: Do you have a habit that is
detrimental to your relationship with your loved one? Maybe it’s something
he/she has encouraged you to give up. It could be smoking, drinking, swearing, overeating,
or certain rude or uncaring behaviors. (If you’re having trouble thinking of
one, just ask your significant other.)
Maybe it’s a habit that you know has tremendous
potential to damage and even destroy your relationship, something your partner
knows nothing about, like your secret life with Internet-porn or privately
spending money on things your partner would disapprove.
Maybe you could bring the Lenten spirit into
Valentine’s by not simply giving something for Valentine’s, like a box of
chocolates, but by giving up something, like a habit that can improve the
quality of life with your partner.
Your Valentine gift of giving up becomes an act of
discipline because you are relinquishing something you like in order to improve
your relationship with someone you love. The result can be joy.
Giving up some of my rights or privileges for
someone I love may not be convenient, but the result is often joy, for I see
how my sacrifice has affected that person for the better. When I see something
positive happening in the life of someone I love, I share their joy and
happiness.
Christians practice spiritual disciplines to get
closer to their Lord: There is deep spiritual significance in denying myself of
something I find pleasure in so that I can go deeper in my love relationship with
Jesus. Joy is usually the result.
Jesus modeled this for his followers: Hebrews 12:2
says that “for the joy that was set before him, Jesus endured the cross.”
Here’s the difficult part: It doesn't happen all at
once but over a period of time, sometimes a long time. That’s why fruitful
relationships are not made in one night stands. Nor are Christian disciples
made in one effervescent, emotional moment.
Think of the relationships you know which have
soured over time and have long ago settled into a mundane mediocrity, a life
where two people, once lovers now just roommates, dwell together only because
it’s more trouble to separate. Somewhere
back there, someone quit trying, someone took for granted whatever it was that
drew them together.
Long lasting love relationships are as much an
exercise of commitment and discipline as they that “Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada” feeling.
Lori and I made a commitment never to go to bed
angry even if it meant staying awake for half our marriage. (It’s amazing how
the desire for sleep can motivate you to kiss and make-up.)
The Christian’s walk with Christ during Lent is kind
of like that. A commitment is made, and the joy at the end of the journey comes
after saying “no” to many likable things along the way that are not so very
pleasing to the One you love.
Lent is a journey beginning with Ash Wednesday and
concluding with Easter Sunday. If you think your relationship with your partner
is hopelessly dead, look to and hope in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.
Everyone had counted him out. But this year, we will celebrate his resurrection
again, and he still transforms lives every day. And yes, he can resurrect your lifeless
relationship, even if that relationship is with Jesus himself.
Our sacrifices of love can be celebrated along the
Lenten road as we look to the finale, the celebration that Jesus is alive and
with us, truly here among us in our struggles, and moreover he loves us with
more love than any Valentine lover could ever fathom because he sacrificed more
than his followers’ acts of devotion could ever offer him.
Let love’s celebration of sacrifice begin.
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