Thursday, February 12, 2015

A little Lent this Valentine’s; a little Valentine’s this Lent

Valentine’s Day precedes Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent by only four days this year. What a contrast in these two days.

Valentine’s Day is a day when many couples celebrate their love with cards, flowers and gifts---gifts often in some form of chocolate. (If you eat equal amounts of white chocolate and dark chocolate, is that a balanced diet?)

Ash Wednesday is a day when religious people tend to give up something---often some form of chocolate.  And instead of celebrating, they engage in acts of penitence---maybe for partying (laissez les bon temps rouler) too heartily on Shrove Tuesday, the day preceding Ash Wednesday. 

Perhaps this Valentine’s Day, we should prepare for Lent by making February 14th a day of sacrifice and likewise allowing our Lenten devotions to be accentuated by Valentine Day’s spirit of celebration.

Think about it: Do you have a habit that is detrimental to your relationship with your loved one? Maybe it’s something he/she has encouraged you to give up. It could be smoking, drinking, swearing, overeating, or certain rude or uncaring behaviors. (If you’re having trouble thinking of one, just ask your significant other.)

Maybe it’s a habit that you know has tremendous potential to damage and even destroy your relationship, something your partner knows nothing about, like your secret life with Internet-porn or privately spending money on things your partner would disapprove.

Maybe you could bring the Lenten spirit into Valentine’s by not simply giving something for Valentine’s, like a box of chocolates, but by giving up something, like a habit that can improve the quality of life with your partner.

Your Valentine gift of giving up becomes an act of discipline because you are relinquishing something you like in order to improve your relationship with someone you love. The result can be joy.

Giving up some of my rights or privileges for someone I love may not be convenient, but the result is often joy, for I see how my sacrifice has affected that person for the better. When I see something positive happening in the life of someone I love, I share their joy and happiness.

Christians practice spiritual disciplines to get closer to their Lord: There is deep spiritual significance in denying myself of something I find pleasure in so that I can go deeper in my love relationship with Jesus. Joy is usually the result.

Jesus modeled this for his followers: Hebrews 12:2 says that “for the joy that was set before him, Jesus endured the cross.”

Here’s the difficult part: It doesn't happen all at once but over a period of time, sometimes a long time. That’s why fruitful relationships are not made in one night stands. Nor are Christian disciples made in one effervescent, emotional moment.

Think of the relationships you know which have soured over time and have long ago settled into a mundane mediocrity, a life where two people, once lovers now just roommates, dwell together only because it’s more trouble to separate.  Somewhere back there, someone quit trying, someone took for granted whatever it was that drew them together.

Long lasting love relationships are as much an exercise of commitment and discipline as they that “Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada” feeling.

Lori and I made a commitment never to go to bed angry even if it meant staying awake for half our marriage. (It’s amazing how the desire for sleep can motivate you to kiss and make-up.)

The Christian’s walk with Christ during Lent is kind of like that. A commitment is made, and the joy at the end of the journey comes after saying “no” to many likable things along the way that are not so very pleasing to the One you love.

Lent is a journey beginning with Ash Wednesday and concluding with Easter Sunday. If you think your relationship with your partner is hopelessly dead, look to and hope in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ. Everyone had counted him out. But this year, we will celebrate his resurrection again, and he still transforms lives every day. And yes, he can resurrect your lifeless relationship, even if that relationship is with Jesus himself.

Our sacrifices of love can be celebrated along the Lenten road as we look to the finale, the celebration that Jesus is alive and with us, truly here among us in our struggles, and moreover he loves us with more love than any Valentine lover could ever fathom because he sacrificed more than his followers’ acts of devotion could ever offer him.

So give it up for love this Valentine’s and enjoy Lent a few days early.


Let love’s celebration of sacrifice begin.

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