On the train or under the bus?

A friend asked me if I had seen the blockbuster, psychological thriller, The Girl on the Train.

“No,” I answered, “but I have been thrown under the bus.”

Actually, the movie is about a mysterious and troubled divorcée who has been betrayed. In fact, just about every character in the film is deceived in some way. So, I wasn’t too far off with my “thrown under the bus” quip.

I may not have seen the movie, but I know something about betrayal. Most all of us know about that---at least in some form or fashion. So, when I teased my friend that I had been “thrown under the bus,” I didn’t mean just recently. If you live long enough, you’ll get thrown under the bus at some point. It’s bound to happen.

A husband betrays his wife or a wife her husband; a “friend” double-crosses a friend by sharing confidential information that is damaging; the employee who is promised a promotion gets passed over by a less qualified, recent hire who happens to be a friend or relative of the boss.

The question is not whether or not we are going to get thrown under the bus, the question is, how do we get out from under it, begin repairing the damage, and move on?

Forgiveness is never easy, especially when your heart has been hurt, but apart from it, you are in effect dragging the bus around with you for life. It becomes an unbearable weight.

As inspirational author Shannon L. Alder has perceptively said, “If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”

While they have done something harmful to you, it does you no good to give them the power of occupying your mind with what they have done to you.

Release them to God. And in due time, He will right the wrongs.

In a way, you are getting back at them because you are not allowing them to impose their values, or lack of them, on yours. 

The Bible character, Joseph, knew the pain of betrayal. His own brothers sold him to Midianite slave traders. Joseph was eventually able to crawl out from under the bus and was even promoted to the highest ranking official under Pharaoh in Egypt. When Joseph could have retaliated against his brothers years after their despicable deed, he didn’t, indicating he had forgiven them: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20).

In his misery, Joseph was able to find a larger purpose that empowered him to rise above his less than enviable situation and refuse the temptation to get even with others. He did his work well and moved forward.

The Tyndale Bible is the name given to the first English translation worked directly from Hebrew and Greek texts. But William Tyndale paid a high price for his commitment to get the Bible into the English people’s hands.

In 1535 a person pretending to be his friend betrayed Tyndale, accusing him of heretical beliefs. Subsequently, Tyndale was sentenced to death. What did Tyndale do? He refused to drown in either self-pity or anger. Instead, while in prison, he continued to work on his translation of the Bible. His last words, as he was executed by strangulation, were, “Lord, open the king of England’s eyes.” His dying prayer was answered two years after his death when Tyndale’s own edition of the Bible became officially approved for printing.

Like Joseph or William Tyndale, we cannot always change the circumstances brought about by someone’s deceptive actions. The one thing we have control over is our attitude. And that makes all the difference.

Whether you find yourself on the train or under the bus.